My Marmalade Academia
by Kream45
Summary: After an unsuccessful attempt at catching a criminal, Ochako decides to do something about her life and obtain a jar of Magic Marmalade. Ochako and her two retarded friends go on an adventure around the world, to find their true selves.


Ochako was walking around the city on her day off. Suddenly she saw an elder woman being attacked by some black guy. She immediately ran after him.

"Stop there, criminal scum!" she shouted after him. "You violated the law!"

"Choke on my dick, stupid bitch!" he shouted back and ran away. Ochako wasn't fast enough.

The old lady looked at her and said some words of comfort:

"Thanks bitch, really glad you were here in time, I'd give you some money but that guy stole everything, go fucking die."

Ochako spent the rest of the day in her room, crying. If only she was faster, she could catch so many more criminals…

After a few hours of feeling like shit, her best friend Kanye West texted her.

"Hey wassup?" he texted.

"I feel like shit cuz im not fast enough" Ochako replied.

"Have you tried using Magic Marmalade?"

"OMG! I forgot about it! Thanks man!"

"np lol"

Kanye reminded Ochako about the existence of a magical substance called Magic Marmalade. It's a thing that's supposed to help you become faster, stronger, harder and just overall better. That's great, now she can…

"Sorry ma'am, we're out of Magic Marmalade." The lady at the local pharmacy said.

"Well, can I order some?" Ochako asked.

"No :)"

"Why not, you piece of shit?" Ochako asked furiously.

"That's because some faggot bought every single jar of Magic Marmalade in the world :) you won't find it anywhere ;)"

Ochako didn't want to listen to that retarded woman so she shot her with her Desert Eagle, which she pulled out of her ass.

"Goddamn, what can I do now?" she thought.

Ochako returned to the dorms and overheard a conversation between Mina and Jiro.

"Hey bitch, have you heard? They found a single jar of Magic Marmalade in some dirty cave in the middle of Africa." Mina said to Jiro.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jiro asked.

Then Ochako interrupted them.

"Umm, excuuuuuuuuuuse me, I think I overheard you." She said. "Were you talking about Magic Marmalade just now?"

Jiro shook her head. "No, we weren't, Mina just smoked one too much."

Mina frowned, "That ain't true, I didn't smoke today, also Magic Marmalade is real, believe it or not."

"I'm not saying it ain't real, but I don't believe they found a whole unopened jar in a cave in Africa. Why there of all places?"

Ochako carefully analyzed their discussion.

Mina sighed. "Jiro, don't you understand? Magic Marmalade is magical. Duh? Also, fuck your mom."

Ochako left to her room to collect all the data she had and find more information on the internet.

On the next day, she woke up early and grabbed a few things she would need and packed all that shit into a backpack. She then left her room and tried to leave UA territory when Jiro stopped her.

"Hey, where u goin?" she asked. "U woke me up with all that rustling around."

"Umm..."

Then Mina jumped out of the toilet.

"Damn, I shouldn't have eaten all those apples yesterday… oh hi girls!" she said.

"Hey." Jiro yawned. "Yo Ochako, either u tell me where u goin or I'll delete ur account in Mnecraft."

"No, please!" Ochako cried. "I'll talk!"

She took a deep breath and started talking:

"I want to go to that cave where they found that jar of Magical Marmalade."

Mina laughed. "You are retarded, Ochako! XD"

"W-what's so funny about that?"

"They already moved that jar to the Musem of Sex in Warsaw." Jiro explained.

"Where is that? Why Musem of Sex?" Ochako asked.

"Warsaw is the capital city of Poland." Mina said.

"Why there? Why Museum of Sex?!"

Jiro shrugged. "No one knows. The only sure thing is that it won't be there for long. Once the exhibition is over, they'll move the jar somewhere safe, and you won't get it even if you asked them nicely."

"How long will the exhibition last?"

"About ten days." Mina replied.

"So I only have ten days…" Ochako said to herself. "Hey girls, u wanna come with me?"

"ok yolo" Mina replied.

"lol no." Jiro said. "not even for two stacks of diamonds in Minecraft"

"how about three stacks then?" Ochako suggested.

Before she knew it, all three of them were already on a plane to Poland. On their way there they played fun games and told jokes. It was really nice and wholesome. Until they saw the hell on Earth that was Poland.

**To be continued…**


End file.
